Friday, September 18, 2009

The artist at her work

As you can probably tell, this is my granddaughter at the beach at Avon, putting the finishing touches on her sea turtle made of sand. All of us scoured the beach for the fragments of shells that make up the turtle's back. Bea thought of giving it eyes, nose and mouth. The seaweed, presumably, is the turtle's lunch.
Words cannot explain how much I miss seeing her from day to day, because she's growing so fast and changing so much. I love to see how her mind works.
I brought a student paint set, some brushes and some watercolor paper to the beach thinking that if it rained, Bea would enjoy doing some painting. On her first try, she dipped the brush in black paint and applied it lavishly to the paper, creating a very large dark shape of many tones. She resisted (rightly, I think) my suggestion to add another color to her painting. She wanted just the black against the white. That picture is now on my refrigerator, where I see it every time I go into the kitchen. I see a lot of thought and direction in that black shape now. I see the dark patch in the middle of it and the lighter patches around the edges. It's very Zen.
On another painting, she painted one front and one hind leg of what I suppose was going to be a dog or something. She studied her painting intently, and then remarked, "The other legs are on the other side of the paper." Of course!
Last evening, I went with my friend Bonnie to a poetry evening at the Nasher Art Museum, which featured a lecture and reading by a famous American poet named Jerome Rothenberg. Dr. Rothenberg spoke on the poetry of Picasso and read some of Picasso's poetry and some of Gertrude Stein's poetry, as well as his own. As you can imagine, Picasso's poetry is utterly incomprehensible. Dr. Rothenberg, however, read it with such passion and vigor that the sounds virtually leapt out of his mouth. The result was that I as a listener began to feel, after a while, a pleasant heat in my brain, as if it had been vigorously massaged. I explain this by saying that when I heard these nonsensical poems, my brain lit up like a fireworks display frantically searching for some meaning or some connection in the juxtaposition of words. This seems to be the whole point. Dr. R. also showed us a series of slides depicting concrete or found poems, in which the poet/artist simply arranged letters or symbols or words on a page. If you didn't know it was supposed to be a poem, you might have assumed that it was a typesetter gone mad. Visual poems also included collages of junk and leavings and fragments of words and strips of newspaper and even twigs and bits of string. Fascinating!
What I love most about it is that Bea has been doing this sort of thing since birth. Wasn't it my Bea who snipped off the cat's whiskers? What better "word" for a poem, since cat's whiskers arouse all sorts of feelings in the viewer, to say nothing of the poor cat, whose face looked unbalanced for weeks until his new whiskers grew in. But such is art. Oy vey!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Best of Times

Yes, I am back from the Outer Banks, and yes, I am a different woman. Boy, did I ever need a vacation!

When you work from day to day, seemingly 24/7, you can so easily lose perspective. I get so locked in to my routine that I deaden myself to changes needed. For example, on a typical work day, I get up, make a cup of coffee and some kind of quick breakfast (instant cereal, frozen waffle, etc.), then go plop down in the recliner and turn on the TV. I watch the local news, which is just about as interesting as watching my hair grow. Who bloody cares what the temperature is or whether it's going to rain or what the traffic is like? If I could find something else more interesting to watch, I would. The point is, I feel like I can't just eat without having something to entertain me, and I can't read while eating because I would be likely to get food on the pages of my book or magazine. Ick!

However, since I've some back from being away from TV news for a week, I realize that I can actually eat my food without having the TV on. Wow! What a revelation!
The other thing is this: When I'm in my usual routine, I do absolutely crazy things like mop the kitchen floor even when it isn't really dirty, but just because it's Saturday. And if I don't get it mopped on the weekend, I'm perfectly miserable every single day until I finally get it mopped. It weighs on my conscience like a dirty rag.
But after only one week at the beach, not mopping, I can now easily choose to sit and knit awhile or paint my toenails or read Newsweek or by golly, just sit and rest, without mopping. How did I become so compulsive about mopping the kitchen?
The truth is that I am not alone. There are a lot of us locked into silly meaningless routines because our brains have gotten into a rut. A vacation gives us the chance to rethink why we do things the way we do. Do I mop because my brain is full of guilt and anger over things that happened years ago? Am I trying to purge old regrets or stall off depression? What is this brain-clutter that I call thinking?

As my favorite poem states:
"The new life begins when you can sit still,
even if only for a moment,
and feel the waves of your own breath
rising and falling, ebbing and flowing--
an ocean of diamonds in the center of your chest."

Yes, the moments are diamonds, beyond price, and we should waste none of them. While I was at the beach, an old friend died of pancreatic cancer. Do you think, if she could come back to advise us, she would say, "Be sure and mop your kitchen floor?"

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Soon -- to the beach!

Can't wait until Saturday when we all go to the beach together. It's going to be wonderful to have a whole week with my family, including my granddaughter Bea.

I haven't written a post since July 14, mainly because I've been so busy dogsitting in addition to working full time that I haven't even had time to think. But the hardest work is now over and life is opening a door on a new experience--taking a full week's vacation for the first time in years.

I'll be bringing a couple of British novels and a bottle of gin, since I just learned from the New York Times this morning that a moderate amount of alcohol seems to prevent or at least delay Alzheimer's. Coffee does, as well. Does anyone know about chocolate?

My old classmate writes that he is appalled at seeing photos of a recent reunion of our grade-school buddies. He's feeling the same feelings I go through every time I go to a reunion: Who are these old codgers? Surely I'm not as old as they are. But the answer is, yes, you are just as old as your buddies. So get used to it. None of us wants to get old or deteriorate or die. But what are you going to do about it? That's just how it goes. Pass the gin!